It's been awhile

I haven't been on to update on Alden in far too long.  Since my last update Alden has had his 2nd birthday.  I wanted to get on after I had him to bed that night but I was exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally.  I have been so pleased with our day to day routine.  Alden has made great progress in attempts at speech and other forms of communication.  I have been at peace with Alden's autism diagnosis and the role it will play in our family.  However, each day we got closer to his birthday I grew more and more anxious about how he and I would handle that day.  As pleased as I was with his progress, and as comfortable as I was with our routine; knowing that my baby was about to be 2 yrs old I couldn't help but think about how different I thought our life would look at this point.  At Jude's 2nd birthday party he opened his own gifts with little assistance, he said thank you, he blew out the candle on his cake, and we started talking about going potty on the toilet.  I knew Alden's birthday would look nothing like this.  I was worried if having all the extra's in our house would be too loud and chaotic for him causing him to throw a fit or completely shut down and isolate himself.  I was worried that he would scream through everyone singing happy birthday to him, he wouldn't sit still long enough to look at his gifts (let alone try and open them) wondering if everyone will be understanding of his actions/reactions, and most of all....if I could get through it all without hiding in the bathroom crying.
The time had come and our guests arrived.  Alden was still napping and suddenly we had a new problem to add to the list; waking up to a house full of people causing confusion and anxiety.  I was able to quietly wake him and ease him into the house.  He had his moments when he 'escaped' to his bedroom, he didn't sit through the gift opening process and I dont think we have one picture of him smiling at his party.  However, we made it through without one meltdown and everyone was very understanding.  I made it through without crying, in fact I was very pleased with how the day had gone.  God had granted me the strength and grace I had spent the previous days praying for.  As he has continued to do each day since.  I still have moments, especially when my nephew, who is 6months younger than Alden does things that Alden can't do.  I feel a pang of jealousy, the craving for a 'normal' child; but it is quickly passes as I think about the abundant joy I get to feel every time Alden even looks at me.  Something I never thought to appreciate when Jude did it so easily.  I ran across a blog of another mom of a special needs child and so elegantly said what I'm trying to say, so I will borrow her words,
"Raising a child with any disorder, condition or special need, is both a blessing and a challenge. A challenge for the obvious reasons, and a blessing because you don't know the depths of victory and joy until you see your child overcoming some of those challenges, even if it's smiling like a goofy bear!"   
 
                                              


 Through the blessings and grace of God, Alden and our family get stronger, smarter and closer each day. He's making great progress each day and is more consistent with his efforts of communication, making day to day much easier for both of us.  The LISD is going to begin a process with Alden to see if he qualifies for ASD diagnosis in the educational world (he is currently medically diagnosed with ASD and educationally qualified for special education for a severe speech delay) you may not know that 1+1 doesn't always equal 2 in the world of special education and ASD ;-)  Please keep us all in your prayers and keep your eye on Alden's journey for our next update.

to flap my hands or not to flap, that is the question

Through all of Alden's journey I have been able to excuse away autism by crossing off some of the tell-tale signs such as hand flapping.  However in the last few days he's started what I thought was waving, but he's doing it more and more.  I'm struggling with what to do next.  Emotions are running high in our house as we deal with autism, 2 sick kids, moving and some other family matters.  Trying to stay strong and turning to God to carry us through.  As always and prayers and suggestions are welcome

moving!

Today has been a little difficult.  Alden didn't get a very good night sleep because between himself and his brother one or the other was coughing all night.  This morning between not feeling 100% and not getting enough sleep Alden has been cranky and not willing to communicate.  I have had to play 20 questions 3x already to figure out what he wanted.  On the other hand (just like his mommy) when he doesn't feel good he turns into a snuggle bug and has gone to his big brother a few times for love and comfort.  I have to say that is one of the sweetest sights in the world.  Watching Alden initiate affection, and his big brother (who is still too young to understand) embrace him even if it interrupts what he was doing.
The boys getting sick couldn't have come at a worse time.  We close on our new home tomorrow and I'm very nervous about this transition for Alden.  I'm planning on taking him over to the new house to play and explore for periods of time before we just move in.  If anyone else has any ideas or suggestions to make this change for an autistic child I am all ears!

I want apple, daddy and big boy bed!

I had to give this update super fast today.  Alden got up this morning and used his pictures to tell me he wanted an apple.  I said, "oh you want an apple!"  Alden pointed at the picture and said, "ah, ah, yea, yea, yea" or in English "apple, apple, yes, yes, yes".  Throughout the day he has been saying "da-de" which has been a rambling "dadadada" and he didn't seem to make the connection between that and my husband.  TODAY however he has shortened it appropriately to sound much more like 'daddy' and when I said "wow, go show daddy!" He immediately went to Brandon!  I'm so proud I could burst, but I can't yet because there is more. Today is the second day in a row he has napped in a toddler bed (he's still been in a crib) !!!!!!!!

Prayers+blood, sweat and tears= ONE PROUD MOMMY

Blessed to have an autistic child? SAY WHAT!

        Today I have been doing what I do almost everyday.  Getting in Alden's face as much as I can and pushing him to use the limited but emerging communication skills he has.  I've thought a lot about the future which is usually when I get scared and start feeling sorry for myself. However, I had a different thought today as I reflected on the last few days, how I reacted, the conversation I had with Brandon the night we "got the news", the kind words of love and support from everyone around us, ect.  You may be surprised to hear I decided this is as big of a blessing as it is work!  Yes, blessing, that's what I said, and there will be day's it doesn't feel like it.....but today I decided this is yet another blessing in my life.
        I have an older son, Jude, who is 3 years old and I love him JUST as much as I love Alden but in a very different way.  Now before you start to scoff as how I could even imply I love one child more/differently than the other, hear me out.  I have experiences with Jude that I dont have with Alden and vise versa.  All of the events and milestones we go through with our children mold our relationships with them.  I have put in a lot more work for EVERY milestone with Alden that I ever had to with Jude.  Not to discredit all of Jude's achievements, in fact it makes me appreciate his even more!  I blows my mind (having been on the other end of the spectrum) that they we achieved so seamlessly.  But when you have to work so hard and for so long to get your child to realize that you are even in the room those milestones, that you may have missed entirely with your other child, hold a very special place in your heart.  My relationship with Alden will be blessed by all of our experiences together.
         My walk with God has grown so much stronger through this process.  I have a very different understanding of phrases that we have all heard or said, "let go and let God" "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" " It's all a part of God's plan" I have felt more connected and closer than ever before to the Lord.  So often events like this can hinder your faith, I feel blessed that I have had a very different experience. 
         My marriage has been blessed.  Brandon and I have had conversations that we would have never dreamed we would have to have.  We have learned so much more about each other and from each other through all of this.  Again, events life this so often hurt a marrige because they are on different pages so to speak.  They have different ideas or plans for care.  Or one can't handle the stress and the other partner is stuck taking it all on themselves.  AGAIN I am proud to report this has not been my experience. I believe this has been a blessing to my marriage.
           As I said before, it's not all bubbles and sunshine just because you are a Christian, but my faith has made this experience so different from what you may hear, read, or see statics on.  If you are experiencing anything like our situation I highly encourage you to seek counsel with a pastor.  If you dont know the Lord now is the time to do so. 

New girl on the block

               Please bear with me as I'm new to blogging and new to the world of ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder)  My 23month old son was officially diagnosed on Wednesday and I think for my own sanity and perhaps to give others a glimpse into the world that some many children these days are experiencing; I will try to maintain a blog about our ups, downs and in between.  I will start by warning you that I am a God fearing woman and I have become so much closer with God through this journey but I have days of weakness (as all sinners do) when I ask how, why, and play the "it's not fair" card.  I dont want anyone reading this to judge that I 'claim' to be a Christian and still may make mention of feeling alone, or being scared.  Christian's are still sinners, we just accept the gift that Jesus gave by dying on the cross for those sins and make a diligent effort to live our lifes more appealing to him.
                To get you caught up to speed I will give a very brief synapses of the last 23months with my youngest son Alden.  Pregnancy and delivery were uneventful.  He was a breast fed baby with no complications other than some occasional abundance of 'spit up' after feedings that was been treated as acid reflux.  At 10weeks Alden had a fever of 104 F that wasn't going anywhere.  He was evaluated in our ER and sent by ambulance to Toledo Children's Hospital where after a 6 day stay he was finally fever free and discharged with a diagnosis of viral infection and milk protein allergy.  Shortly after the ear infections started.  After 10 in his first year of life he was placed with tubes and passed a post surgical hearing test.  By 6months I noticed that although Alden laughed out loud and made high pitched noises, he wasn't babbling at all.  I mentioned my concern to the pediatrician and I was told to "give him more time".  By our 9 month check up we still weren't crawling and had just started making some vowel sounds but still no babble.  I was told by the ped.  "he's a second child, and he's a boy.  Give him more time" By 10 months he was finally crawling but still no babble.  He didn't point to things he wanted, he didn't shake his head yes or no.  He had NO communication and had notably poor eye contact. I mentioned again that I was concerned and asked about Early On, my ped. once again said that they thought it was too early for concern.  "Lets take a look at it at his 1yr visit"  I was done waiting.  I called Early On myself and before his 1yr ped. visit he was being seen regularly and was testing 4-6months behind in milestones.  Through the summer he was handed over to the ISD and qualified for special ed due to a significant speech delay.  We saw the neurologist in July and we were told it's too early to know anything "see you in 6 months"  We started a Toddler group through the ISD in September that meets 2x a week.  His eye contact and babble was improving.  A few months ago we decided to give gluten free a try and our family and his teachers all noticed a big change.  He is finally "in the same room" as us.  He's beginning to interact with his brother, comes to me when he's got a boo-boo, he's using some pop-out words and is just a much happier little boy.
                   Wednesday this week we returned to the Neurologist and my gut was worried we would hear ASD, but my heart was thrilled with the progress we have made, and my brain was thinking this would be another waste of time visit where we were told once again that it was too early to make any decisions and to come back in 6 months.  WRONG!  I heard the words "severely delayed" "clearly concerning" "he definitely falls on spectrum" and something about Jenny McCarthy (I'll admit by then all I could hear was the sound of myself swallowing so hard trying to hold back the tears, that I was sure the Doc could hear too) 1,000 questions flooded my brain and yet I couldn't ask a single one for fear that the moment I opened my mouth all that would come out was a scream.  How, after all the blood, sweat and tears....all the progress, could he tell me now that he's autistic?  My gut has known since he was 6months old; but it was so easy to make it all go away by excusing it with "he's been so sick for so long" "it's just a speech delay" "he's got last baby syndrome and we've spoiled him too much" ect. but now it's official.  My almost two year old son, Alden, is autistic.

                       So now what?  Now I get on the internet, the phone, the blow horn whatever it is I need to do to make sure that he's getting all the help he can possibly get.  I tap into the momma bear and dont take no for an answer.  I pray, cry and then pray some more.  I enlist the prayers of all of my family, friends, and church family.  I blog and pray that sharing Alden's journey will help make anothers a little easier.