It's been awhile

I haven't been on to update on Alden in far too long.  Since my last update Alden has had his 2nd birthday.  I wanted to get on after I had him to bed that night but I was exhausted physically, mentally and emotionally.  I have been so pleased with our day to day routine.  Alden has made great progress in attempts at speech and other forms of communication.  I have been at peace with Alden's autism diagnosis and the role it will play in our family.  However, each day we got closer to his birthday I grew more and more anxious about how he and I would handle that day.  As pleased as I was with his progress, and as comfortable as I was with our routine; knowing that my baby was about to be 2 yrs old I couldn't help but think about how different I thought our life would look at this point.  At Jude's 2nd birthday party he opened his own gifts with little assistance, he said thank you, he blew out the candle on his cake, and we started talking about going potty on the toilet.  I knew Alden's birthday would look nothing like this.  I was worried if having all the extra's in our house would be too loud and chaotic for him causing him to throw a fit or completely shut down and isolate himself.  I was worried that he would scream through everyone singing happy birthday to him, he wouldn't sit still long enough to look at his gifts (let alone try and open them) wondering if everyone will be understanding of his actions/reactions, and most of all....if I could get through it all without hiding in the bathroom crying.
The time had come and our guests arrived.  Alden was still napping and suddenly we had a new problem to add to the list; waking up to a house full of people causing confusion and anxiety.  I was able to quietly wake him and ease him into the house.  He had his moments when he 'escaped' to his bedroom, he didn't sit through the gift opening process and I dont think we have one picture of him smiling at his party.  However, we made it through without one meltdown and everyone was very understanding.  I made it through without crying, in fact I was very pleased with how the day had gone.  God had granted me the strength and grace I had spent the previous days praying for.  As he has continued to do each day since.  I still have moments, especially when my nephew, who is 6months younger than Alden does things that Alden can't do.  I feel a pang of jealousy, the craving for a 'normal' child; but it is quickly passes as I think about the abundant joy I get to feel every time Alden even looks at me.  Something I never thought to appreciate when Jude did it so easily.  I ran across a blog of another mom of a special needs child and so elegantly said what I'm trying to say, so I will borrow her words,
"Raising a child with any disorder, condition or special need, is both a blessing and a challenge. A challenge for the obvious reasons, and a blessing because you don't know the depths of victory and joy until you see your child overcoming some of those challenges, even if it's smiling like a goofy bear!"   
 
                                              


 Through the blessings and grace of God, Alden and our family get stronger, smarter and closer each day. He's making great progress each day and is more consistent with his efforts of communication, making day to day much easier for both of us.  The LISD is going to begin a process with Alden to see if he qualifies for ASD diagnosis in the educational world (he is currently medically diagnosed with ASD and educationally qualified for special education for a severe speech delay) you may not know that 1+1 doesn't always equal 2 in the world of special education and ASD ;-)  Please keep us all in your prayers and keep your eye on Alden's journey for our next update.